Porch Envy.

Fall stuff all over my house! Fall stuff in the bathroom! Fall stuff on the porch! I want to roll around in ALL THE FALL STUFF.

So, I decorated my house for fall this week. I’ve been looking forward to it forever. However, I did NOT decorate for Halloween yet, guys. Even I have boundaries. Let the harvest have it’s moment. Then we’ll kick it into Halloween mode when it gets chillier.

Speaking of Halloween, I’m GOING TO VEGAS ON HALLOWEEN. With all the crazies! I’m so happy to be with my people! I’ll be sure to document the crap out of it, because there will be much to see, my friends. Maybe I’ll see a bunch of celebrities but I won’t even know because they’ll be in costumes. Speaking of which, costume wise, I think it’s illegal in Nevada to wear a costume that does not begin with word, “sexy”, so I’ve been trying to think of hilarious “sexy” costumes… Sexy Lobster. Sexy pumpkin. Sexy Vacuum. These things make me laugh. I think I’ll just go as the Long Island Medium.

So, on top of decorating my house this weekend, Jamie and I also dug up all our herbs and planted them in a big giant wooden bucket to be hauled inside by 7 large men for the winter time (It’s very heavy…). We also went over to Jamie’s family’s house for dinner only to find that Jamie’s mom had broken her OTHER arm and was at the ER with Jamie’s dad. That’s two arms in 1 year. Worst luck of all time. So we tried not to let her delicious meal and lovely decor go to waste and had a lovely, but bittersweet dinner. Get better soon, Nancy!

UGLY: All the arm breaking!

AWESOME: fuzzy sweaters, pumpkins, apple cider, nutmeg. red leaves, the smell of fireplace, pretty sunsets, re-using all my dollar store decorations because I’m thrifty.

CATS who read.

Happy real and actual autumn!

This weekend was so full, I didn’t even get to my treasured fall decorating. I didn’t even attempt to pull the box out of the closet.

Friday was planning an upcoming Vegas Trip with some lovely ladies. I’ve only ever been for work, so I’m pumped to go for fun. We drank wine and ate pizza and decided who our alter egos would be. I’m Olga, a Russian veterinarian who sells horse tranquilizers (don’t worry, they’re just Mentos). I’m excited to shed my nerd persona for a weekend, break out the old content lenses and buckle up my stilettos. It will be a strange and exciting change of pace.

Saturday, we celebrated my lovely friend, Cristina’s housewarming in Guelph. I ate too many chips and dip and little hotdogs wrapped in bacon. I love finger food. Her house is amazing and it makes me feel like people my age are becoming real adult people and it is terrifying. But it also makes me excited for future things like houses and spaceship washing machines and “Guest Bedrooms” (whodathunk).

Saturday night, I went to Jamie’s office (Aircastle headquarters) to watch a screening of the documentary they’ve been working on for the past couple years. I think it came out great and I’m so proud – it’s called Amin Amir and it’s screening on September 29th at the Edmonton Film Festival. If you live in Edmonton and love AWESOME STUFF, you should go see it.

Sunday was a chock full day of activities. First, brunch at Brownstone with Kari, then off to see CATS on it’s last day of performances (Did you know it’s based on a book of poetry by T.S. Eliot?!). I had never seen it before and Kari was melting with nostalgia so it was good fun had by all. Then we went on a bit of a walkabout and found ourselves accidentally in the middle of The Word on The Street festival. Last year at the festival, Kari was reading aloud from her amazing novel, Margaret And The Moth Tree. This year, we pretended to be Shakespearian characters and received free naughty novels from the Toronto Romance Writers (SAUCY).

So now I’m at home after a sweaty at-home TWERKout, about to enjoy some Football and Indian food with Jamie WHO IS ACTUALLY HOME BEFORE 2 IN THE MORNING OMG (It’s been a busy couple of weeks).

UGLY: My non-seasonally decorated home!!! 😦

AWESOME: I bought a pair of 10 lbs weights so my at-home workouts now consist of me becoming A BOSS.

How to Cook and Eat an Artichoke.

ARTICHOKES.

I love artichokes. They are some of my favourite things to eat. I do not do this often because, although they are vegetables, the traditional preparation and consumption of an artichoke requires some… additional calories…

Many times when I’ve spoken about my love for the artichoke, people will tell me not only have they never eaten an artichoke but they would have no idea how to cook or eat one anyway. Therefore, I share with you, the time honoured tradition of the artichoke: How to prepare and consume (Instructions are the photos below).

Prepare yourself. You’re about to eat an unhealthy meal. This is a treat. Like a 1,500 calorie Saag Paneer Roti from Ghandis. You know it’s bad for you… but sometimes you just have to TREAT YO SELF.

UGLY: Your face when you eat an artichoke. Just go with it.

AWESOME: The fact that you are about to embark on a journey that will leave you satisfied, knowledgeable and thirsty.

These beautiful babies are artichokes. And Imma eat them.
These beautiful babies are artichokes. And Imma eat them.
Get a big pot, big enough that your artichokes can sit inside with the lid on, fill it with water and boil it.
Get a big pot, big enough that your artichokes can sit inside with the lid on, fill it with water and boil it.
First peel the teensy leaves off the stem. Aint nobody got time for those.
First peel the teensy leaves off the stem. Aint nobody got time for those.
Cut off the stem, leaving a delicious half an inch poking out.
Cut off the stem, leaving a delicious half an inch poking out.
Plop your artichokes into that boiling water.
Plop your artichokes into that boiling water.
Put the lid on your pot and set the timer for half an hour (can be more or less depending on the size of your chokes). About half way through roll them around in case they're stuck with one side facing up.
Put the lid on your pot and set the timer for half an hour (can be more or less depending on the size of your chokes). About half way through roll them around in case they’re stuck with one side facing up.
While waiting for your artichokes to boil you can...admire your nails...
While waiting for your artichokes to boil you can…admire your nails…
...Look how nice they would look in a scary movie...
…Look how nice they would look in a scary movie…
...maybe read a book...
…maybe read a book…

Or you could dance around to Bollywood music.

Once a half hour is up, take a look at your gorgeous green broth.
Once a half hour is up, take a look at your gorgeous green broth.
remove the artichokes carefully (don't raise the choke above your hand or boiling water will drip into your palm like a handshake from Satan.
remove the artichokes carefully (don’t raise the choke above your hand or boiling water will drip into your palm like a handshake from Satan.
Admire your steamy wonders.
Admire your steamy wonders.
Take a stick of butter (don't judge me) and chop it up.
Take a stick of butter (don’t judge me) and chop it up.
Put it in a bowl.
Put it in a bowl.
Use your lazer beam eyes to melt the butter.
Use your lazer beam eyes to melt the butter.
PREPARE FOR EATING!
PREPARE FOR EATING!
You'll also need a big bowl for all your discarded leaf carcasses.
You’ll also need a big bowl for all your discarded leaf carcasses.
HOW TO EAT: STEP 1. Pull off a leaf from the outer most leyer.
HOW TO EAT: STEP 1.
Pull off a leaf from the outer most leyer.
Step 2: Dip the non-pointy end in your bowl of fat.
Step 2: Dip the non-pointy end in your bowl of fat.
Step 3: Scrape off the flesh from the inside of the leaf with your teeth and eat it. The smaller leaves (the beginning ones) will not have a ton of "meat". Wait till you get to the middle. You just wait.
Step 3: Scrape off the flesh from the inside of the leaf with your teeth and eat it. The smaller leaves (the beginning ones) will not have a ton of “meat”. Wait till you get to the middle. You just wait.
Step 4: Discard the pointy part of the leaf into your carcass bowl.
Step 4: Discard the pointy part of the leaf into your carcass bowl.
FYI, that's what it looks like post-scrape eat.
FYI, that’s what it looks like post-scrape eat.
FYI this is what it looks like when a monster eats an artichoke.
FYI this is what it looks like when a monster eats an artichoke.
Congratulations! You've eaten many leaves and you've made it to the heart of the artichoke.
Congratulations! You’ve eaten many leaves and you’ve made it to the heart of the artichoke.
Look at the destruction you left in your wake.
Look at the destruction you left in your wake.
OK, HOW TO EAT THE HEART: Pull off all the silly leaves that no one wants.
OK, HOW TO EAT THE HEART: Pull off all the silly leaves that no one wants.
All that will remain is the heart with some weird furry stuff sticking out. DO NOT EAT THE FUR.
All that will remain is the heart with some weird furry stuff sticking out. DO NOT EAT THE FUR.
Take a spoon and spoon out all the furry bits, while trying to keep as much actual heart as possible.
Take a spoon and spoon out all the furry bits, while trying to keep as much actual heart as possible.
This is the heart, post fur removal.
This is the heart, post fur removal.
Take that sucker and dip it in the butter like it's your job.
Take that sucker and dip it in the butter like it’s your job.
Put it in your mouth and thank the baby Jesus you have taste buds.
Put it in your mouth and thank the baby Jesus you have taste buds.
Give yourself a pat on the back. You ate an artichoke! And you gained 7 lbs. HURRAY!
Give yourself a pat on the back. You ate an artichoke! And you gained 7 lbs. HURRAY!

Bushels & Bouquets

Hello there!

Leave it to me to ignore my blog for 6 months only to begin again with a fall-time post. It is my curse and my saviour. When it is fall time, I want to write about it and take pictures. It’s in my blood.

But since I’ve been on a blogging diet of wilted spinach and lemon juice, it would be irresponsible of me to jump back into things with a T-Bone steak and a side of mashed potatoes. So, I’ll start off slow with this dry toast and chicken broth of a post: My jaunt around town on a brisk fall day (yes, I realize fall does not begin until September 22, but in my heart, it begins the first day I need a scarf). Also, I’m now very hungry.

It began at Rebel House, with a delicious brunch with my autumn muse and fellow fall worshiper, Kari and continued to a feminine paradise, Putti in Summerhill (so many sparky things). I stopped by The Harvest Wagon for a couple of artichokes which I plan on consuming later and ended with the purchase of some mums for the front porch and a lovely autumn bouquet for my living room.

Usually, I’d be cuddled on the couch watching football right about now, but Jamie is super busy lately and it’s just not the same without him. So I blog and eat artichokes and read books while it gets gusty outside. Which is a perfect Sunday in my opinion.

UGLY:
The number of boxes I must remove from the closet in order to reach the one full of fall decorating supplies which I will need for next weekend…

AWESOME:

It’s time for fall decorating! I can’t wait! I’m reusing all my Dollar Store purchases from last year, so at least I’m being frugal 🙂

Also artichokes…which makes me think a possible artichoke instructional blog is required…PLOT.