I’ll Be There For You…

Ah crazy week, how crazy you are.

This week was a sad one as my good friend, Claire prepared for her move to New York to become a famous screenwriter. We all got together to say good luck and farewell at a most bizarre bon voyage party which included Newsies sing-alongs, Claire being dressed up in a corset, Gossip Girl board game, drag show, fist pumping and Fran’s.

It was also Jamie’s sister, Katie’s birthday on Wednesday so I had a lovely dinner/wine/dance-at-the-table-athon with Katie, Leslie and Nancy. Yummy sausages and ice cream cake. Birthdays are awesome.

Then on Friday, Cheryl and I adventured to Ottawa to visit our old friend Ross and his lady, Jenn. They were amazingly awesome and hospitable and gorgeous. An their 2 doggies, Edwin and Edie were also very welcoming. On Saturday, we ventured to the Market for some shoppings and a Beaver Tail! I haven’t had a Beaver Tail in a million years and they are even more delicious than I remember. They live right next to the canal so it’s a nice walk back to their place along the water. Saturday night was Jenn’s birthday celebration where we did the following things:
-Went for Korean BBQ
-Ate a Barbie cake
-Sang Barbie Girl at Shanghai, a karaoke bar (we also carried a Barbie everywhere all night)
-Went to a strip club where 60% of the dancers were most likely pregnant.
-Danced to punk music at a dance club place.
-Barely convinced Ross’s stalker that he wasn’t Beck.
-Convinced a man named Shane to give me his sombrero
-Danced in hotel fountain a la Friends Intro
-Danced/posed on boats in the harbour
-Danced in construction site
-Basically it was America’s Next Top Model: Weird Photo Shoot Edition.

Sunday it was brekkies at a Columbian brunch place, a stroll around the Glebe and than time to head home. Boo. Slept a lot on the train. Pooped.

Just came back from the Dentist. I don’t want to eat anything for fear my entire mouth will collapse as is predicted by my dentist. Ouch also.

Pregnant Strippers.


Ottawa! So pretty and fresh and lovely. Going with Cheryl. It’s been a loooong time since Cheryl and I got to do much one-on-one adventure time styles. Such fun times.

Anything that made me pretty on Saturday was donated by Cheryl to the “I’m a skeez and don’t pack nice clothes” fund

One million photo shoots.

Winner! Gagnon!

This week- lotsa stuff! Case closed.

I kid- case open.

My company had its annual Summer Party at Polson Pier where we played volleyball, drove some go-karts around, played human fooseball, jousted eachother and got free drinks all night. Good party- fun times, wicked sunset at the end of the day. I was proud because I didn’t sunburn while playing in the sun. Is it weird that I consider that a personal accomplishment? Way to go, skin.

This weekend, long lost Jamie came back from Edmonton for a measly 3 days for the family reunion. Although short, it was pretty sweet. On Friday, Jamie played a round of Golf whilst I played “Collingwood Vagrant”, wandering the streets looking for carbs. I called to them, “Carbs where are you?” And they said “We’re at the Village” So that’s where I went for lunch. Little did I know, the weekend was going to be packed with the most delicious array of never-ending food. Remember Supermarket Sweep? It was a game show where you had to run up and down the aisles of a grocery store putting as much food as you possibly could into your cart. That’s what I felt like by the end of the weekend. The cart.

The croquet tournament on saturday is an annual tradition and this year it was almost rained out, but in the end, a champion was crowned and everyone went back to planning next year’s tournament. As is usual. New tradition: Midnight Yoga (Read: a bunch of drunk people pulling muscles and falling over)


-Mr. Jamie’s brief cameo appearance.
-Love Collingwood. What’s not to love? Always fun to be had!


-The briefness of the cameo appearance.
-Can one human have more than two muffin tops? Because clearly, I’m working on a baker’s dozen.

Eat Nap Love

So full of corn…uuuuggh….corn coma….

Today I did the laundry, cleaned the whole apartment, picked up groceries and made corn for dinner. Now I’m beat. The corn beat me.

On Friday, Andrew, Matt and I had dinner at Dominion on Queen. The shrimp are ginormous! And delicious.

After that, I went to see Eat, Pray, Love with my girls. Save yourself 45 minute- go see Eat, take a nap through Pray and wake back up for Love. I think the movie would benefit from this viewing strategy.

After that it was Tortilla Flats for Strongbow, nachos, burritos and Free beer! All the people at the table beside us were already too drunk, and had ordered way more booze than they could actually consume. They paid for their bill, handed out half a bucket of coronas to random folk around the patio and left just as the appetizer platter they had ordered appeared. One girl took a few cheddar stick handfuls and left the rest. So there’s a giant table in the middle of the patio with a whole pitcher of beer and a sampler platter on it and everyone on the patio has this awkward vulture look and they’re all looking around to see who else is thinking the same thing. Everyone wants to take the leftovers, but no one wants to be that desperate. Except for us of course, so we took that pitcher and drank it! Ha! No one took the sampler though…shame.

Then, off to a Tequila bar on Ossington for Margaritas.

The next morning, I went to Easy Restaurant at Queen and Roncy for brekkies. Very yummy. Then I walked to high park for a little tanning action. On my way to the perfect tanning spot, I walked through the zoo and through the gorgeous gardens, greenhouse area. If you haven’t visited this summer- do it. High Park is by far one of my favourite places in Toronto. There’s always something different to do. I would have gone to the pool, but it was devil child hour. (Otherwise known as free swim for kiddies). So I lay around on the grass until the rain clouds came and the geese became violent. Good day overall- very summery. Sometimes I worry about letting summer pass me by because I get so excited for fall. I looooove fall. So I must force myself to remember summer is still here and I should take advantage. The end.

High park, as lovely as it is, it’s also Goose poop central. And my sandals have little traction. Nuff said.
The service at Java House on Queen. Oh, I’m sorry I forgot you HATE customers.

Thunder Storm today! woot!
Love having a clean apartment. Hate cleaning it, but love the result.
Jamie comes home this week (Thursday)! We’re off to the family reunion next weekend before he heads back to Edmonton for a while.

STOP! Hermit Time.

Oh are you still here? That’s nice. Sorry I abandoned you.

This week has been so super fun that I just couldn’t be bothered to document much of it- whoops! Below: a flow of consciousness adaptation of my week:

Friday- Blondies, Hey Girl Hey posse appears, drink, dance, stripper pole (clean…).

Saturday- Hey Girl Hey team shows up at Brunch with backup, I buy vegetables, and chicken and rum. Go to see Step Up 3D- rum in the coke, become insanely inspired by hip hop dance moves, gal time at my place, gearing up to go to karaoke, Jersey Shore AGAIN. Karaoke at Ports- Ports baby is there! They grow up so fast…my first Karaoke song ever – You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette. EPIC. Lakeview- Apple Crumble. Claire Bear slumber party- watched Step Up 2- tried to memorize dance routines.

Sunday- Slumbered in late, went to brunch with C-dawg and Baby D at Sunrise Grill, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Enrique on the radio- catered to us. Afternoon was spent in an amazing laziness fog of movies, magazines and mixed nuts. Plus a sprint to the beer store at 5:58 pm. Too bad it closed at 5. Off to the Local for Waupoos and pub food- bangers and mash for me. Finished off the night with Mad Men/ True Blood screening and a bowl full of cherries.

Monday- After work trip to the gym for “Hardcore Abs” class and “Hip Hop Dance” class (due to Step Up inspiration). So much fun- felt so good after class. Felt not so good once I got home. Ouch.

Tuesday- Oh god the pain. Walking like an old man, complaining like one too. After work Dinner with Sandy at Jack Astors. mmm beer and cheddar soup. Not part of diet. Also not part of diet: Sandy the QT Pie (a la mode).

Wednesday- Soccer. Played two games- had a fall in the mud. Super dirty. People staring on the subway home. Always satisfied after soccer.

Thursday- today! A break. Came home, made some chicken. Done. feel like I could go to sleep at 9:30. Maybe I will.


This close to having a working i-phone. Pretty durn exciting except Telus is being turdy and taking their sweet time to transfer my phone number over. So no phone right now and can’t talk to anyone. (STOP! Hermit time)


So much hanging out with lovelies. Getting back to the gym and to dance class. I swear it’s so stress-relieving, I could do it all day if it didn’t turn me into a snivelling whiner the next day.

This puts pickles on a whole ‘nother level.

Holla at y’all.

So, the past couple of days have been lovely and busy for me after work-wise. I’m used to coming home to a sad plate of cold cuts and cheese, flickin on the ole tube and vegging for a thousand years until bed time, but because it’s such a lonely existence at my house right now, I feel inclined to get out more before I start feeding stray cats and buying them clothes. (I’m sure that made sense, yes?)

So, on Tuesday, Ms. Claire had the car at her leisure so we picked up Sara and went down to the Beach for a while. Frankly, there’s not much you can do on the beach at 6 pm whilst not being prepared for beaching, but you can scope the hotties, talk gossip and have an iced tea at the Boardwalk Cafe which is exactly what Sara, Claire and I did. Then it was a surprise journey to meet Jazzy, Vix, Sonia and Eileen for dinner at Allen’s on the Danforth. From out front, it looks like your average pub but once you get through to the back patio, it becomes a fairy-lit, giant treed wonderland. They also had Waupoos on tap so they win. They also only employ British/Irish people I’m convinced. Also, Jeanne Beker was there, so it must be good.

On Wednesday, I played a soccer game where I could have been the ultimate tie-making goal scorer hero that would have put us back on the map but I choked last second leaving us the losers as usual. Oh well. Drowned my sorrows in a flat iron steak salad at The Blake House on Jarvis. Actually really yummy. Also Waupoos on tap. Hey- wonder why my diet’s not working? Damn you Waupoos temptation!!

Today was getting my hair did, which I was super excited about. I go to Roxanne at Karma Kollective on Carlaw between Queen and Dundas. It’s super pretty in there, the head massage is coma-inducing and I left leaving purty as a peach. I did notice, however, that because I never actually blow dry (or do anything) to my hair these days, I never realized how long it actually is when it’s straight. And with the new blonde, I kind of remind myself of a sassy J-Woww Guidette type. If you don’t get that reference, good. Continue living a fruitful, healthy life.


Too much Waupoos. (Possible? No)


Too much Waupoos.
My fancy new hair. I love going to get my hair did. It’s just like the spa but the results last longer. Plus it allows me to produce a new-hair, Jersey-Shore themed photo shoot with myself. (It’s literally like I’m the least vain person on Earth, wouldn’t you say?)

Birds be chillin.

Wow, it’s been a while! How are you? That’s great.

I’ve been slightly sadder lately due to the absence of one Mr. Jamie, but at least I can sleep OK now. I had a complex process of leaving the TV on at night to create random noise that I wasn’t scared of, and then I would put a pillowcase over the screen to block the light. I am the bravest, I know.
But no longer! I can now sleep like a regular old person. BE PROUD OF ME.

On Thursday (correct, one million years ago) the gals came over to watch the season premiere of Jersey Shore. It was Epic. There was Waupoos. There was a downloaded Jersey Shore soundtrack. And there was massive fist pumping to Enrique.

On Friday, Celeste and I went out dancing around Ossington and I wore Prossy shoes. You have to every once in a while or people start to confuse you with the Amish. This is le fact. So dancing was super fun but my feet still aren’t speaking to me. They believe they were unfairly mistreated, which is true. After dancing as we were leaving, a strange/interesting man named Christian came up to us to ask us a harmless question and 40 seconds later, we were all best friends and we all went to the Lakeview for food. (Pie, in my case.) Christian had many stories about being a lone wolf, growing up on a Tobacco farm but living in Germany, knowing archery and being a technologic recluse. The technologic recluse part was sad because now we can’t find him on the internet the way you would expect to be able to find anyone these days. He also had made a matchbook storybook where he wrote a word on each match and then every time he used a match, the ones left in the book would tell a different story. He was like a Belgian Kerouac.

Saturday was hanging out with Katie, eating brunch and going shopping. Fun times always. That night was watching chick flicks (The Sweetest Thing and Drop Dead Gorgeous) with Monica while polishing off a Cave Springs Riesling and Eating noodles. Also super fun. And comfy and lazy.

Sunday was a me aloney on my owney day- I went to the St. Lawrence Market to the antique market and I was going to go across the street to the south side market for mustard and dinner and such but it was closed for a private party! Who closes the entire St. Lawrence Market for a private party?? Possibly Tom Cruise as he is in town…

So instead, I treated myself to a luxurious and totally extravagant meal at Le Papillon on Front- Amazing French Restaurant. I would recommend for fancy dates. Or you know, pathetically eating by yourself while reading your book- either one. I had garlic shrimp and their famous French Onion Soup. And then I had a wheelbarrow come around the side to pick me up and distribute me to the streetcar. Carbs are ending tomorrow. Long weekends, you suck (read: are awesome).

and now- I will watch Harry Potter in my underpants. Ha! I bet you thought I was going to do something exciting! Fooled you… Losers…

Not sticking to my diet AT ALL this weekend. Oh well, if I was hit by a bus tomorrow, I’d rather be fat and happy. And also, the fatter I am, the less likely it is that the bus will actually kill me (padding and such).

It’s been a real ladies week- I do love lady things. Watching chick flicks, going dancing with just girlfriends, and not for (their) purpose of finding boys/girls to make out with but just to dance for funsies cuz it’s fun. Brunch with ladies, fist pumping with ladies, ladies ladies ladies. and Pie.